After the Rain
by AdamPascalFan
Summary: After the truth comes out, Lulu is forced to deal with the consequences of her choices


**A/N**- _I just get this feeling that Lulu's betrayal of her brother is never going to be addressed in the way I need it to be..and because I REALLY don't want to hate a Spencer right now..I had to write this. Because this scene needs to happen. But I don't think it will._

Two months. It had been two months since everything exploded and new realities had been formed. Every day for two months she had born witness to the same routine. Her hand moved to twist her hair off her neck with a practiced air as she sighed, spotting the cell phone attached to her youngest grandchild's ear.

It was time she stepped in.

"Come on. Pick up Lucky. Just pick up please."

The pleading in the tone at any other time would have broken her heart. And in some small way it still did. But another part of her understood the silence and agreed with it. Her wild child had made a bad choice. And this time Lucky wasn't going to shield her from the full brunt of the consequences as he had so many times before. This time she was going to have to face the truth on her own.

She sat down on the couch as Lulu flipped the phone shut, an exasperated hurt sigh escaping her young lips. The tears filling up her granddaughter's eyes, Laura's eyes, did not escape Leslie's notice. And even though she understood the silence, she ached for the rift that had formed between her sweet boy and girl.

Lulu placed her head on her grandmother's shoulder and automatically Leslie moved to rub her arms. How many times had they sat like this when Luke had forgotten a birthday or a recital? Or when a mother/daughter event happened at school and she was the only one with a grandmother or aunt in attendance? Or even after everything that happened last year?

"I wish he would just talk to me Grandma."

"I know sweetheart I know."

"I thought by now he would talk to me. I just want to know he's ok."

"He's fine. He's hurt but he's fine."

"You keep saying that but I want to know from something more than your grandmother's intuition."

Leslie took a deep breath. It was now or never. "It's more than that my dear." Lulu raised her head and shot her grandmother a questioning gaze. "I've talked with him."

The young woman reeled back, her eyes shining with happiness. "You have? And he's ok? Where is he?" The questions came out at a rapid pace, remincent of Amy when she heard a new gossip item at the hospital.

Leslie raised her hands up in mock protest. "He's ok." She looked Lulu right in the eye. "He hasn't slipped. He's still sober." Lulu let out a relieved breath. "He wont' tell anyone where he is exactly. Too much like your father for that, but he swears he's close enough that if he needs to come back home he can."

She gently put her hands on Lulu's when she saw her grab for the cell phone. "He's not going to answer honey" she said as gently as she could, pulling the phone towards her.

"But you said he's fine."

"He is."

Her eyes crinkled, as she began to recall some of the other things Leslie had just said. "He won't tell anyone?" she mumbled. "He's talked to other people?"

"Yes."

"Then why wouldn't he answer? If he's talking to other people, why wouldn't he answer?"

Perhaps the easiest way to make Lulu understand was to remind her of the past. "Honey do you remember when Lucky first moved out of the house?"

"Sort of. Mom and I were in North Carolina with you and when we came home, Dad told us Lucky moved out."

"Do you remember how he acted around your parents after he left?"

"I don't really remember seeing him with them. Not often anyways. It would be just me, him and Elizabeth most of the time."

Leslie didn't miss the way Lulu's face contorted when she said Elizabeth's name. One battle at a time, she reminded herself. Not that anyone in the family was thrilled with Elizabeth's choices, but Lulu's determination to lay all the blame at the other woman's feet was uncalled for. It had taken two to tango.

"Yes. He didn't talk to your parents much back then. He avoided them at all costs. He only really talked to them when it was about you." Leslie put her finger under Lulu's chin. "You were one of only two reasons he stayed in town that summer. Do you realize that? He didn't want to leave you behind."

Seeing Lulu nod, Leslie continued softly. "Your brother adores you. He wants nothing more than to make sure that nothing bad ever happens to you. He blames himself even if he had nothing to do with whatever trouble you got into. Do you realize how many people blamed him for your pregnancy and he agreed with them?"

Lulu looked away. "I know." She whispered.

"Sweetie he's always given everything to you and you betrayed him. That's why he's not going to answer the phone when you call."

"I didn't betray him. I was trying to protect him"

"That's what you keep saying sweetheart. And I know you believe that is what you were doing in your heart of hearts. But that is not what your brother thinks."

Leslie moved to the chair directly across from the couch, forcing Lulu to look directly at her. It was time she was faced with reality. "Lulu, you didn't tell him when you found out."

"Was I supposed to stop the wedding and humiliate him in front of everyone?"

"No, but you had several chances to tell him beforehand. And before you start, yes it should have been Elizabeth to tell him before it got to the point it did. And she did, eventually. But you did not help matters."

Her granddaughter was truly confused. Leslie sighed. "I understand your anger with Elizabeth. I do. And I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it. But you only showed anger to her, Leslie Lu. You shut her out completely and you wouldn't give your brother any sort of explanation as to why. In avoiding her, you avoided him and your nephew, both of whom where confused."

"And when he turned to you, when the truth finally came out, he found you at Jason's penthouse, discussing this whole thing with him. And then you argued with him to not blame Jason. You told him that he should feel sorry for him, how Jason wanted to do the right thing, what a sacrifice he was willing to make. Lulu, in a space of minutes he realized you knew, you hadn't bothered to tell him and that you were siding with Jason."

"But I didn't side with Jason!"

"Leslie Lu, did you treat him as coldly as you continue to do Elizabeth?" Her granddaughter looked away from her.

"Did I not just see you yesterday hug him in the hospital?"

Lulu shifted in her seat.

"Did I not hear you on the phone with him yesterday saying you were afraid he was right and Lucky did return to drugs?"

"He could have. The baby was the reason he got clean."

Leslie shook her head. "The baby was the reason he went to rehab. He got clean for himself. Which he has told you before several times. And you believed him before you started talking with Jason about this."

Lulu had the good sense to look guilty about that one.

"Your brother feels you chose to stand by someone other than your family and that you chose to believe the worst about him." Leslie leaned closer. "Lulu, he had many chances to turn back to drugs once he left rehab. When we lost your mother again, when he found out the truth about Maxie, or even when his divorce was final. Even during the hostage crisis when he thought he was going to loose almost everyone he loved, including you. He admitted he was tempted but he didn't fall. And you didn't recognize that Lulu. You didn't give him credit for what he had already survived."

"That's what is hurting him the worst. Not the lying. I think he understands that. It's the lack of faith in him Lulu. The choosing of a person you have been friends with for a few months over your brother."

"He's not going to answer the phone when you call because it hurts him too much."

"Does he hate me?" The voice was a hurt whisper. The voice of a child scared her parents were going to leave her because she had been bad.

Leslie rested her hand on Lulu's knee. "I can't answer that for you. I don't think your brother could answer that right now. Right now I think he's only doing what doesn't hurt him horridly. So for right now, that means he's only talking to me, Cruz Rodriguez, Audrey Hardy and Cameron." She squeezed the knee gently. "He's talked to Elizabeth a few times, but only about Cameron. And Elizabeth understands that. She's not pushing him to talk to her about anything other than Cameron and for any longer than he feels necessary."

She saw Lulu's face fall at the news he was more willing to talk to his estranged wife than his sister. It wasn't a pretty scenario but it was one Lulu had to realize. Her choice to side with Jason was going to completely redefine her relationship with her brother forever.

"I don't think he will avoid you forever. Lucky is very similar to your mother. He is capable of great forgiveness. But he is also like your father. Forgiveness is not going to come easy. He does lash out, as you remember. But I think in time he may come around."

"And if he does, then you have to realize that your relationship with him will never be the same again. Just like his relationship with your parents wasn't the same after he moved out. And his relationship with Elizabeth won't be the same. He may forgive but he won't forget."

Lulu closed her eyes and nodded. She was biting her lower lip to keep from crying. Leslie hated to see her cry, hated even more to be the one to make her cry, but the girl had to know the truth.

She stood to give Lulu a few minutes alone, to think about what she had just heard. She reached the door to the kitchen when the soft voice sounded behind her.

"Grandma?"

"Yes?"

"The next time you talk to him" she paused, as if she was gathering strength. "The next time you talk to him, can you tell him I'm sorry?"

Leslie smiled softly. "Of course sweet girl. Of course."


End file.
